angela3

From: "Angela Pogue" 
To: 
Subject: a few lines and then some more...
Date: Tue, 10 Jun 1997 10:32:00 +0100

Hi Carolyn.

Everytime I write you I always feel shortly after that it was pointless and a waste of time. I wonder if you misunderstand the intent and the point. After all, being called Richard's sex toy, and the woman who has a mad crush on Niels doesn't put you too high on my list of those I take time to share my thoughts with. And lets don't forget the dreadful cafe experience you and I had. You being the cold and strong untouchable, declaring that is exactly how you planned it, and me trying to communicate to you in that sort of environment, resorting to the cold reporter. You certainly didn't hit it off well with me and judging by your commentary, nor I with you. However, I can't help but desire to speak with the part of you which is sad. It seems to want different that than the untouchable exterior which makes it something I am willing to communicate with. Perhaps in my current adventure of redefining my psychology, I will in the future feel pitty or distaste rather than compassion. It seems that both reactions would be appropriate.

But more on topic, although I do not know the full scope of your present situation, I can't help but feel you need a slight kick in the pants. It is indeed your own doing and I can't feel sorry for you. As you so brilliantly said to me in Ohio, "As soon as you are through suffering, come visit us."

You say you want a close companion yet none are interesting. I say you do not allow them to be. You certainly got nothing out of me and much of that was your own fault. I of course got little out of you, but I did not care to - because of your snobbish disposition. Alas your design of keeping yourself untouchable works brilliantly and I applaud you. But is it really what you want? You rip Richard appart for his social approach, and I can see your point, but Richard and I could at least be ourselves and exchange thoughts. You apply stress to people and the people react under that stress. They are not themselves - and they are certainly uncapible of loving and being interesting in such an environment.

My few lines have turned into far more than I inteneded. Before I go, might I suggest swimming if you want to become more fit - you don't get hot and sticky, its good for the knees and great exercise. Perhaps you could arrange to be coached so you get to meet someone with a different exepertise. Also, try getting your hair trimmed to more one length and then use some nice conditioners on it to make it shine more. I've been using Loreal's stuff in the blue bottle - very nice stuff. And maybe get a new pair of glasses. Just little things to get you over the current speed bump - if you intend to get over it.

Angela

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From: Carolyn L Burke
Date: Jun 10 1997
To: Angela Pogue
Subject: You've got to be kidding

Dear Angela,

Perhaps you have better thing to do than to give me advice or read the silly things I write online? I would have thought so.

I'd like to say a couple of things since I clearly have your attention (for some unknown reason). At some point int he past I established a friendship with Niels at his request - he asked me to take a chance and I did. This didn't work out. Why is of little concern to me currently although I am sure it is an important question.

I have never realy had any intention of being involved with you. That you were Niels' friend wasn't really any motivation for me. That you are now Richard's friend is a matter of indefference to me except insofar as that might alter my own environment. As a person unto your own self, you weren't my type, if you will. Does there have to be more to it?

The letter that I received from you today was hurtful. I do not kknow if that was unintended. Why are you bothering to write to me? I just don't get it. Furthermore, why do I play any role in your life whatsoever? Apart from the intersection of a couple of friends (about which I have no interest), we have no history nor shared interest nor enjoyment of each other.

For your information, my interests are generally with people who are stable and who know wht they want in life - be that an abstract ideal or concrete plans. You seem to be an explorer at this point in your life. Go wild.

And please, you are no fashion maven. I found your taste in eseence dull and conservative,a nd as far as I could discern, lacking in a coherent style. I might not be happy with where I am at sometimes, but your advice simply made me laugh and hurt me at the same time. Well done.

"Everytime I write you I always feel shortly after that it was pointless and a waste of time. I wonder if you misunderstand the intent and the point. "

Ummm. Yup I am sure that I am misunderstanding your intention and I am certain that I do not see the point of your writing to me at all. If it is out of compassion, then why the "kick". If it is out of those other emotions you said you strive to have instead, then why write at all? You sure didn't bother to elaborate in a clear and easy fashion wht these might be. One would think you were going to given this introductory sentence.

If I am conpletely missing somethng here, please do tell. Otherwise, please leave me to my life advice-free.

I won't say go away, but I am tempted. I only avoid competitive women. Go compete with someone who wants what you want. I do not. This perhaps is my best reason for making your writing letters to me a waste of your time.

C