"Down the Pit . . ."

Date: Tue, 10 Dec 1996 10:02:35 -0600
To: clburke@passport.ca
From: sohlcln@sk.sympatico.ca (Bill Ursel)
Subject: "Down the Pit . . ."

Hi Carolyn.

I've been out of touch with your diary for some time . . . I read you again, the entry of December 7, and I am angry, with you.

You now of course have options, to continue reading this missive or trash it.

Your feelings are your own, mine belong to me. I choose to read your diary, and thus I feel a need to respond with honesty, as I always have, to your visions. Those visions are only pieces of who you are, however they are real to me.

Some backgorund. I stopped reading your diary because I saw you becoming rather pleased with a 'cellophane' Carolyn. The Carolyn of Newsweek, and US News Today . . . your more than 15 minutes of fame. >sarcasm intended<

Is this who she is . . . a construct of Entertainment Tonight,and nothing more . . . .

Then came the anger . . . how dare you condescend and trash yourself time and again, using some measuring stick that is >so< superficial. My anger also stems from not knowing what device you use to assess your 'worth'.

My anger Carolyn is founded on the continual erosion that you carry out on yourself. The drawing of youself "down the pit to be a common person" . . . there are many who are 'common' and God bless them all!!! They are mothers and fathers,sisters , teachers, many far less briliant than you, yet oh so special in their own lives.

I am angry at the way you devalue yourself . . . I am angry at a world that 'allows' that to happen . . .

I wish I had words of peace at this season of peace . . . meditation did not draw me away from this anger, as it often does . . I needed to send this missive, damn . . .

I wish you could see yourself in a better light . . .

Still thinking about you,

Bill.