From: Delo777@aol.com Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 13:56:17 -0500 (EST) To: clburke@carolyn.org Subject: hello... from Colorado.
hi,
just found your page. i'm an unpublished writer of fiction episodes (which are really diary entries with the names of people and places changed). meandering around the web, chatting with faceless people, it all seems artificial and even unhealthy.
yesterday i chatted with some other netheads about writing, life etc. and started feeling terribly depressed. i realized how much easier it is to interact with people's words--eliminating the superficial distractions of physical form and space... i signed off and drove down the icy, unpaved road for some coffee. halfway to javajunction, i pulled over and watched the sun set. half the sky was stormy with hideous black clouds, the other half was sunny and colorful. the snowflakes from the stormy side were blowing into the sunny part of the sky. i saw the snow coming down on a sunny day... it felt so much better to see the outside world, after being zombified in front of my moniter for countless days.
but when i got to town, i didn't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, risk getting to know anyone... i couldn't look anyone in the face. i was afraid i would see someone i know and find myself obligated to be social.
so now i'm stuck in the middle. should i hide in cyberspace, write my little stories and stuff them into a box, or should i force myself to share something more with people in the real world?
you're diary is inspiring to me. it's good to read people's thoughts and feelings. i like what you said about still being an anarchist in heart. being 26 now, people react to my rebellious nature as immature. but i know, from the voice in my soul, that my rebellious nature is in my blood. it can't be outgrown or stopped... i can only bury it with material distractions... which i refuse to do. i'm just trying to use it now, in my writing, hoping someone else will understand and interpret it the way i want them to. creative, sensitive people are interpreted as depressed, when really, we just want a better world to live in...
thanx for sharing your diary.
Delo