Tammy: all day thoughts
From: Tammy Schoeneweis
To: "Carolyn L Burke"
Subject: all day thoughts
Date: Fri, 29 Aug 1997 15:36:52 -0600
Stopped in this morning and found myself thinking and thinking all day
long on your thoughts, turning them into mine. I asked the questions of
myself, hope meant for another - but, I was drawn to use the questions
in an attempt to gauge myself. When will lose the 100 pounds, write a
book or become a mover and shaker? Your standards are not mine and mine
are not yours, but, the questions were still applicable.
For several hours I did my best not to think, bury my head, read - read
- read, annihilate any thought process losing myself to another realm of
words. But, soon found that I must _do_ something, even if thinking
might intrude.
And cramped up, turned over, inside out I wondered while attacking the
house. Scrub a cupboard and probe, what is a mover and a shaker? What
is my definition? Answers only come through our own personal
definitions.
And these thoughts affected me, because of my need to know, and not your
expression - my need to know how I feel about action, energy and
movement. Why the struggle? It seems like such a simple thing.
At least I have reached a point of going and attempting, not giving up
this tenacious hold on life. Yet, the responsibilities of _doing_ still
scare me.
But, there is not much else to do - vacuuming edges and corners -
because it never goes away. The stuff to do can either be done or not.
The question can be found in assessing the consequences of each. And
this may sound like guilt - but, it's actually an appraisal. More often
than not I want the consequences which are results of action, of getting
things done.
And I find that as you do, more opportunities come up and soon there you
are - photo in the newspaper and wondering, do I really want people
commenting?
I suppose the answer is yes. I guess we most often meet up to the
demands and more. You're a great example of this. Keep going.
Fame, being a "mover and shaker" at large, is not a motivator. It may
be part of the outcome, though. And then the question becomes, once we
can move and shake (each at individual levels), what will we be a mover
and shaker of . . .
take care,
tammy
~~~~~~~~~~
Enchanted
http://sgtec.com/tammy/