Hi Carolyn!, I was here and you weren't! Maybe got our lines crossed. Its difficult getting in touch with you lately, I've been spoiled for awhile. Had an epiphany recently. I am afraid to do well and succeed not because of my own expectations but because I fear being rejected by my peer group. This is ridiculous as you only have exhibited the desire to see me excel. Strange how these things all of a sudden come clear to me. When I did really well in anything at jr or sr high school I was accused of being a conceited show off who thought she was better than everyone else. My "friends" did a real job on me, and I let them. The first step is the realization, now let's see if I can get over this. You won't dump me if I surpass you will you? Need a little reassurance and validation on this one if you wouldn't mind. You know how I hate being needy. Love Trace
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And then I called her here, and then I stood her up for three more hours. She was pissed off, and hungry.
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I called her as I awoke this morning -- after finding this note on my computer. I tried to apologize for standing her up, leting her worry, feeling that I couldn't face her easily because of this. I hope she'll understand in her heart. Iknow her head gets there fast. :)