Blue Page









space here to scream crying 

away

blue



screaming blue





churning guts over and over 

confrontation within two 

minutes of arrival at the 

office.  no hesitation.



supposed 

to interview someone for 

a goddamned job



now but 

instead since the corners 

of my mouth droop towards 

hell later in a few minutes 

of spelling out the world 

into blue



i cannot participate 

in this endless ness



its 

not about me anymore.  in 

childhood I thought it was.  

about me not being good 

enough.  now I know it is 

about them someitmes they 

are just cruel people with 

a veneer of social grace.  

not warm.  



alpha said 

that is necessary, to be 

alpha.  it is what makes 

these things work.  fool.  

why bother if that is true.  

why not try something a 

little better.



be like 

him is all he ever thinks 

anymore.  the answer is 

a resounding no - easy to 

make since he is 100% miserable, 

with a veneer of social 

grace.  others see tired, 

strained, but never miserablw.  

it wou.d be bad for business.  





lazy wrists leaning on stupid 

wrist rest i did not want 

in my environment.  weakening 

thing



so it is not suicide 

that attracts me at all... 

no it is a different environment 

and different people with 

more sane goals.  he lied 

to me by suggesting he will 

back off at some point in 

the future when... when .. 

what a joke when.  when, 

he said, we have hired enough 

people to do everything 

he has learned.  just more 

expansion pressure without 

he willing ness to allocate 

budget to this end.  a joke.  

reduce standard of living 

and hie hte goddamned people.  

make one's own life worth 

while and make the busines 

work too.  fucked.



fucked





repeat



fucked



cyclic beliefs - 

they do not change.  so 

cyclic problems arise.  cyclic.




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