Subject: comments and conundrums...
I have my own angel and devil (I think Steve might appreciate this imagery more than Philip)
Oh I dunno. Being a devil has always appealed to me in a humourous sort of way. Besides, with what other job can you always easily toast marshmellows? :) However my atheist sensibilities would like to point out that I don't regard my views as being devilish, too many people seem to view atheists as the spawn of evil for me to want to even vaguely condone that view.
Rather I feel I am more playing a devil's advocate role here. I'd like to balance Steve's comments with another viewpoint to try and give you the room to choose. And just to be sure that you haven't arbitrarily dropped yourself into a false dichotomey of either accepting Steve's comments or not - that there are more choices out there that lead to a multitude of paths inbetween or more extreme than either Steve's or my viewpoint.
I lack true desire. I substitute a desire for parties, and friends. I don't have a tv, but I also don't meditate. I avoid hedonisms .. and I avoid truly looking into myself.
I am not sure I agree. Part of the reason I enjoy reading your pages is because you try looking into yourself. To me these pages have been about you finding yourself and your voice/thoughts/being after years of living with a strong to overwhelming personality in Peter.
This I sympathise with and understand. For some years now I have been trying to isolate where some of my more principle ideas come from and I have been actively trying to understand the reasoning behind them and to be sure it is reasoning _I_ accept. That is what I see you doing and it explains, to me, the attraction of Steve's words - he seems so sure.
To Philip: Steve can help me simply by saying things that I don't hear anymore away from Peter. But I do intend to stay grounded in the late 20th century metaphysics of worldly trivia and financial cockfighting.
Coolness. The one thing I would ask is that you be well aware of why Steve's words appeal. To me, as a limited observer, it would appear that you have a common theme running through your life that you have always had strong personalities around, till recently. Your mother and Peter are primarily who I am thinking of here.
All I want say is be aware of the pattern. Other than that I'd say you have found an appropriate answer for yourself to the question 'What am I to do about this concern?'.
Philip
PS. I should note that I, at least, am having fun in this discussion as well. It is always fun to share ones thoughts and ideas and see what other people make of them. It is one thing I find slightly frustrating with my web pages, people go through them but so few seem to make any comment. Yet what I want is discussion, I want the chance to be shown where my thinking is wrong, or right, or simply weird...
PPS. I sent an email your survery regarding those three buttons, but I suspect it has gone to an account you don't use much or something. The one question I had in it was whether you would mind me putting a link to your diary into my home pages? I felt it important to ask first.
PPPS. Yes! I have found a way to not have to use Netscape's cack mail editor! Wahooo! :)