Good to see you've overcome your bout with bio-bugs. I've been doing better, myself, over the years, since I started enjoying the benefit of autumn Flu Shots.
I've been observing the cast of characters in your on-line diary/drama, and I'm not entirely surprised at how 'plastic' they all seem. You are surrounded by 'worldly' people, you know.
I quickly leap to point out that just because someone appears 'spiritual' doesn't mean they ARE spiritual... the New Age movement, and it's fringes comes to mind... the making up of one's own spirituality... the misguided attempt to fabricate a closeness from ethereal and temporal philosophies and mind games.
But the people I've come to 'know' through your diary are all tasting the fruits of the world in all it's variations of decay in an attempt to spice up their otherwise unfulfilled lives. Peter and his fleeting promiscuous passions (to include Kathleen, ibid.).
So many of those folks are looking, looking, searching and delving into work, 'the arts,' relationships (those TA tidbits are a hoot), techno-babble, 'culture' and other sidelines and not finding anything lasting. Been there, done that, had my fill (or emptiness, really) and don't miss any of it for an instant.
Yes, I still enjoy ALL of the above. In perspective. As a diversion from time to time. But it is all unneccessary. <>Parties CAN BE cool. As a world-class, grand champion, blue ribbon, world reknown party professional (capped by 52 consecutive keg parties on the shores of Lake Michigan in 1979, produced, organized and successfully pulled off without untoward incident by yours truly), I can now say that the BEST parties are the one's where one simply wishes to share of the bouties and blessings of one's life with those whom he/she cares about. AND/OR those where one opens one's house and blessings to those who are less fortunate, AND, AND, AND makes every attempt to ensure that the recipients of his/her grace and sharing understand that the event is by no means an attempt to flaunt one's blessings. IN other words, with an attitude of unconditional love.
Big parties for the sake of a party make for big aspersions. Small, intimate (no sexual inuendo) parties make for warm and enduring friendships.
I've gotta ask:
Don't you ever feel trapped in a world of people with heads bigger than breadbaskets and souls the size of mustard seeds?
Here's a SUPER question to pop on people when you want to know if they have anything truly enduring in their lives:
"What do you live for?"
Pardon the dangling participle, but that's the best format for the question. It comes across best, suddenly, when someone is ranting and raving about how oh, so marvelous this and that thing is in their lives, while underneath, they, themselves are questioning their very existence.
A somewhat awakening question.
In essence, I've been watching you ask yourself that very question all throughout your diary entries.
Yours truly,
Steve